Finding A Match - Rant

Why is it so difficult to find the right match in a spanker? As I've said in previous posts, I've always been a discipline spanking kind of girl. That is what I want and need in my life. I want someone who spanks me because they care about ME, and about helping ME be the best person I can be. I may be a grown woman, but I still need guidance. Left to my own devices, I can screw things up pretty bad.

There are some good ones out there. Some guys on the same page as I am. Unfortunately, "out there" is not close by. I'm getting some GREAT counsel and advice, and that's wonderful. But at the end of the day, I'm not going to bed with a sore bottom. And I am frustrated!

This is an excerpt from an e-mail I wrote last night, with some additions, as I've slept on it...

There are plenty of guys out there willing to spank just for the sake of spanking, and they'll even call it discipline..... "tell me what you need to be punished for and I'll take care of you." But in the end it's just a game. Their "lectures" are just words, even if they are the right words.

For God's sake, take the time to get to know ME, and the issues will come out. Hell, take the time to get to know ME, and I'll glady spill the things weighing down my heart and soul. But it does take some time and trust. It's gonna take more than "hello. nice red bottom. tell me what you need to be disciplined for." At least if you want something more than "I have trouble keeping my house clean." If that's all you want, it's just a game for you and you're wasting your time and mine.

Truth is, most of you don't want the real issues anyway. You don't want to know the things I've done that I truly feel ashamed about. You don't want to have to care. You don't want to help. You just want to play Dom and give a spanking and go jerk off. And that's fine if that's what this is about for you. Just be up front about it, so I don't waste my time. You want to role play? Fabulous, I'm sure there's a girl out there for you to play with. You want a blow job after you spank a girl? You're not getting it from me. What part of "I'm not looking for a sexual relationship at this time" makes you think I want to suck your dick? Christ!

I may not be done with this one.... but I have to go shower and get ready to go have dinner with my dad.

Spank hard,
Jess