How NOT to find out that your disciplinarian is a law enforcement officer

Jim was my regular disciplinarian, as I've written about before. As long as he was the only one who spanked me for discipline, and I met with him at least monthly, I was allowed to get spankings from anyone I wanted as often as I wanted.

I had been talking online with a guy named Doug. He lived in Austin, but he came to Houston to see me. He was a switch, and topping was never really my thing, but it got me a spanking, so I did it. Doug said I spanked too hard! During his visit, he told me that he had a whole gallon-size ziploc bag full of weed at his place in Austin. I had only smoked twice before, but I loved it, and I told him I'd be headed his way for a visit very soon.

So, a couple of weekends later, I went to Austin for the weekend. I spent the whole weekend stoned. Pot, pizza, and paddles.... a hell of a weekend. (Disclaimer for any current or potential spankers reading this: No, Sir, I don't do it anymore.) Anyway, I was using Doug's computer to check in with Jim. I was stoned off my ass. So stoned that my hands didn't look like they were attached to my arms. It was awfully funny at the time... my hands were typing on the keyboard, but I didn't have any arms!! Um, ok, anyway.... I was chatting with Jim, and he asked me how I was doing with smoking, and reminded me that each cigarette over a pack would cost me 20 swats.

I said, "Yes, Sir. How many do bong hits count?" I thought I was being very funny.

He said, "It depends on what's in the bong, young lady."

I asked, "What do you THINK is in the bong, Sir?"

He said, "You know I can't condone that, young lady. We'll discuss it later. Bye for now."

Can't condone it? Huh? Oh well....

So I went back to Houston, and I met with him and got my spanking for something.... I don't know what it was. We were sitting and talking afterwards, and I brought up spending the weekend smoking pot. He said a few things... I don't remember what they were. But a little while later, I mentioned something about my job - which at the time was working with battered women. I mentioned a woman who had said that she beat up her husband as much as he beat her up.

Jim said, "Yeah, I've had to arrest a couple of women for domestic violence before."

I started to say something when it hit me what he had said. "Uhh... arrested?"

He smiled and nodded.

"Arrested? Are you.... are you.... a cop?"

He was trying hard not to laugh at this point, "Yes, didn't you know that?"

"No! I didn't know you were a cop!!! I just sat here and told you that I spent the whole weekend stoned! Do you think I would have told you that if I'd known you were a COP??"

He then failed miserably at holding back his laughter. "Your face is as red as your ass!" Hmm... I did not find it funny. "Why did you think I said I couldn't condone that?"

"Well, I didn't know! But I didn't know you were a cop!!!!" I could have gladly crawled in a hole and died.

He looked at me seriously then, "Young lady, I'd prefer you didn't do that, if only because it is illegal. But if you're going to, for God's sake, don't tell me about it."

"Yes, Sir! Now that I know you're a cop!"

Seriously, how did I not know the man was a police officer? Yes, I did often wonder about the police cruiser that was always parked at his apartment complex, but I didn't realize it was his.