The Idiot. Or, Respect Must Be Earned

All the experiences I've written about so far are at least several years old. The more new stuff that goes into my head, the more old stuff slips out, so I figure I should preserve the old stuff first. But this one... this one has earned being told now. There is no actual spanking involved here, but I think it's entertaining just the same.

This actually started a couple of weeks ago. On a spanking personals site, this guy sent me a "smile." I read his profile - he lives several states away, and didn't say anything about travelling. I "smiled" back at him, but figured that would be the end of it, as it usually is. He smiled at me again the next day. I don't play the smiling back and forth game - if you're interested after a smile, send me a message. If I'm interested after a smile, I'll send you a message. See how easy that is? Anyway, he kept sending me smiles. Finally, he sent me a message, and during a few message exchanges, it came down to: he wants to spank me, he doesn't travel to Oklahoma for any reason, he's five years younger than I am. It's not a hard and fast rule with me, but in general, I just don't have the right chemistry for spanking with a guy who is younger than I am. Anyway, I politely told him I appreciated his interest, but it really didn't seem like it was going to work out. He said we should chat and see what happened.

So yesterday evening, I was bored, and thought I would go check out the chat room on that particular site. I used to play there alot several years ago, and I know the dynamics and maturity level of most of the people who hang out there. Certainly not all - I've talked with some very nice people there. I enjoy chatting about my experiences and such, but I outgrew cyber spankings 15 years ago, and just because your name is capitalized and mine's not doesn't mean you can top me.

So I'm chatting with several different people at once, and there he is. Oh, how I wish I had saved our chat. I'll recreate it here the best I can.

Idiot: Hi

Me: Hi

Idiot: I really want to spank you

Me: That would be nice, but unfortunately probably not realistic

Idiot: Why not?

Me: Well, because you are in California, I'm in Oklahoma, and neither of us travel.

Idiot: So?

Me: So?? Well, I have some big paddles, but I don't have any THAT long.

Idiot: You could text me.

Me: I'm looking for real life spankings, not cyber spankings or text spankings.

Idiot: Well can't we chat and see what happens?

Me: Fine, I guess there's no harm in chatting.

Idiot: See?

Me: (no answer)

Idiot: So what are you looking for?

Me: Real life spankings

Idiot: From just one person?

Me: Well, ideally, mostly from just one person, with maybe an occasional play spanking from others on occasion.

Idiot: I'd like to be that main person for you.

Me: I hear that, but again... you don't live here.

Idiot: You could call me.

Me: No.

Idiot: No?

Me: No.

Idiot: Why?

Me: I don't do phone spankings either.

At this point I get bumped offline. I get back on.

Idiot: Hello?

Me: Sorry, got bumped

Idiot: That's ok, happens all the time

Me: Yeah

I get bumped again

Idiot: You get bumped again?

Me: Yes, dammit

Idiot: You watch that mouth young lady I spank for that

Me: (no answer)

Idiot: So when were you last spanked?

Me: Thursday

Idiot: Who did it?

Me: Someone I met

Idiot: Who?

Me: You don't know him.

Idiot: Was it hard?

Me: Yes

Idiot: Was it bare?

Me: Started over the jeans, ended up bare.

Idiot: Did you cry?

Me: No

Idiot: I'd have made you cry

Me: No you wouldn't have.

I get bumped again

Me: Dammit!

Idiot: Whack! Whack! Smack! I told you to watch your mouth!

Me, now totally fed up with the idiot: Well, you know, I would watch my mouth, but my nose is in the way and all.

Idiot: You know what I meant

Me: Wow

Idiot: I'll wash your mouth out with soap

Me: Well shit, I better not fucking cuss anymore then

Idiot: Smack! smack! smack! Call me right now! My number is ###-###-####!!!!

Me: Are you fucking kidding me?

Idiot: Are you testing me young lady?

Me: Me? Oh no! I'd NEVER do that.

Idiot: That's good, because you won't win.

Me: Too late, honey, I just did.

And then I blocked him.

Seriously, whack whack smack? What the hell, dude? I chatted with like 7 other people, all of them tops/Doms, and not one other person said anything remotely like whack whack smack. And I'll tell you what - a couple of those guys actually got a yes, Sir or two out of me during our chats. Respect. Because they had earned a bit of it.