Last September, Vincent told me he was stepping down as my disciplinarian. He said he was making way for me to find someone local to give me the attention I needed that he couldn't give me. I was hurt. I was angry. And I was broken-hearted. I started crying so hard one night at work that they had to send me home. I didn't understand. I always had an eye out for someone local. Hell, half the trouble I got in with Vincent involved moving too fast with a local spanker. So I didn't understand how not having a disciplinarian at all was going to make someone local that I clicked with suddenly appear. Vincent said I would be surprised and that one of these days I would say "What do you know? The son of a bitch did me a favor." I was pretty sure he was wrong about that.
I laid pretty low on the spanking scene (if you can even call it a scene here in Oklahoma) for awhile after Vincent. Hell, I was laying pretty low on life in general. I was depressed. I rarely left the house except to go to work. I stopped taking pictures. I stopped going to the gun range. I even stopped cleaning the house. I started sleeping too much, drinking too much, taking too many pain pills. My life was falling apart.
A few weeks ago, I decided it was time to pick myself up and get my shit together. I logged back on to a couple of spanking personals sites and updated my ads. I e-mailed with a couple of guys, and the e-mailing was going well, but one was quite a bit younger than me, and one was the same age. Not total deal-breakers, but I've always preferred men at least a little older than me.
And then I found him. We exchanged a few e-mails, talked on the phone, met for coffee. He's several years older than I am. And, be still my heart, he's a retired Marine. I love, love, love Marines. Oh my God, can he ever give "the look." He had me squirming like crazy when we met for coffee! I got my first spanking from him on Saturday, and my second one yesterday. I don't think I've stopped smiling since we met for coffee. And I've been working hard on getting my house cleaned up. He said yesterday that he thought a little discipline went a pretty long way with me. He's right. It's amazing what I can accomplish with the proper motivation.
I finally understand why Vincent stepped down as my disciplinarian. It wasn't because he didn't care about me. It was because he did, and he knew that in spite of my feelings about it, he wasn't the best thing for me. And as long as I had him, I wasn't going to look seriously for someone local. I was far too loyal to him. I would never have let anyone else in. So... what do you know? The son of a bitch did me a favor.